Will Rogers
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
Will RogersI don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will RogersTen men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat.
Will RogersToo many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Will RogersI see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
Will RogersEven if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will RogersWell, all I know is what I read in the papers.
Will RogersThe man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
Will RogersLive in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will RogersAncient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
Will RogersI never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
Will RogersThis country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will RogersWe can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Will RogersCommunism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
Will RogersLiberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.
Will RogersAn onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
Will RogersI belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
Will RogersThe best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
Will RogersOn account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Will RogersThere's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will RogersI bet you if I had met him [Trotsky] and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
Will RogersTake the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
Will RogersHalf our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will RogersNoah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.
Will RogersBaseball is a skilled game. It's America's game -- it, and high taxes.
Will Rogers