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Fred Allen

Fred Allen (31 May 1894 - 17 March 1956 ) was an American comedian and radio host; born John Florence Sullivan.
Found 58 thoughts of Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Fred Allen

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Fred Allen

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Fred Allen

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

Fred Allen

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Fred Allen

Do we really deserve top billing?

Fred Allen

[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.

Fred Allen

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Fred Allen

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

Fred Allen

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Fred Allen

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Fred Allen

Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.

Fred Allen

A committee is a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Fred Allen

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Fred Allen

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?

Fred Allen

An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your shirt.

Fred Allen

Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen
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