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Groucho Marx

Julius Henry Marx , primarily known as Groucho Marx, was an American comedian and actor, famous for his work in the Marx Brothers comedy team, and on his own.
Found 98 thoughts of Groucho Marx

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

Groucho Marx

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

Groucho Marx

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Groucho Marx

You are only as old as the woman you feel.

Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Here's to our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet!

Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx

Politics doesnÂ’t make strange bedfellows--marriage does.

Groucho Marx

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Groucho Marx

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

Groucho Marx

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Groucho Marx

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

Groucho Marx

Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?

Groucho Marx

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Groucho Marx

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.

Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx
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