home > authors > Josh Billings

Josh Billings

Josh Billings was the pen name of the American humorist born Henry Wheeler Shaw (12 April 1818 - 14 October 1885). He was perhaps the second most famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States in the 2nd half of the 19th century, after Mark Twain, although his reputation has not fared so well with later generations.
Found 105 thoughts of Josh Billings

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Josh Billings

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Josh Billings

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Josh Billings

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

Josh Billings

Those who enter heaven may find the outer walls plastered with creeds, but they won't find any on the inside.

Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Josh Billings

One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.

Josh Billings

It may be risky to marry for love, but it's so honest that the Lord just has to smile on it.

Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Josh Billings

My son, observe the postage stamp! Its usefulness depends upon its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.

Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Josh Billings

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

Josh Billings

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Josh Billings

Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.

Josh Billings

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

Josh Billings

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

Josh Billings

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

Josh Billings

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks isn't so much their ignorance. It's know'n so many things that ain't so.

Josh Billings

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Josh Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

Josh Billings
1 2 3 4 5   Next