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p j o rourke

Found 27 thoughts of p j o rourke

Politics are a lousy way for a free man to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.

P. J. O'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.

P. J. O'Rourke

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

P. J. O'Rourke

There's not a woman in the book, the plot hinges on unkindness to animals, and the black characters mostly drown by Chapter 29.

P.J. O'Rourke (commenting on _Moby Dick_)

When it comes to taking chances, some people like to play poker or shoot dice; other people prefer to parachute jump, go rhino hunting, or climb ice floes, while still others engage in crime or marriage. But I like to get drunk and drive like a fool.

P. J. O'Rourke

The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.

P. J. O'Rourke

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.

P. J. O'Rourke

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

P. J. O'Rourke

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke

France is like a great compass, which ever way they point to, go the complete opposite direction and you'll be fine.

P. J. O'Rourke

How much fame, money, and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?

O.J. O'Rourke

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

P. J. O'Rourke

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

P. J. O'Rourke

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

P. J. O'Rourke

With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.

P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

P. J. O'Rourke

The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

P. J. O'Rourke

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

P. J. O'Rourke

Remember the generational battles twenty years ago? Remember all the screaming at the dinner table about haircuts, getting jobs and the American dream? Well, our parents won. They're out living the American dream on some damned golf course in Vero Beach, and we're stuck with the jobs and haircuts.

P. J. O'Rourke

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

P.J. O'Rourke

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

P. J. O'Rourke

Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.

P. J. O'Rourke

Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly. I remember it made you think you couldn't stand up, and mostly it was right.

PJ O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

P.J. O'Rourke
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